At nine-months pregnant, my main hobby has become perusing the internet. One of my favorite activities is reading articles shared by my internet peers. With my second child on the way, parenting articles tend to pique my interest. But lately, they've been annoying me.
Recently, I came across an article about authoritarian-style parenting and how it's wrong. I do not relate to this style of parenting for various reasons. I encourage my son to ask questions, I let him choose his outfits, and I don't spank him, But, well, my son is a little crazy. He runs around like a Tasmanian devil every night and jumps on my back when I least expect it. I'm sure he could use a little more discipline in his life. At least that's what someone who sees them self as an authoritarian parent might suggest. I didn't get very much out of reading the article. Am I doing a "good job" because I don't fit this parenting style being criticized on the internet?
Then I came across an article about how letting a baby cry it out can be psychologically damaging. I never let my son cry it out, so again, according to this article, I must be doing a "good job," right? But honestly, I never let my son cry it out because I simply didn't have the heart to. I never really thought about it in any certain terms, it's just that letting him cry it out isn't really a part of my personality. One thing I will say though, at three-years old, he doesn't fall asleep too well on his own.
Which brings up the next fun parenting topic: co-sleeping. Yes, my son sleeps in my bed most nights. People tend to feel strongly about this. I have felt judged by parenting peers for letting my son share my bed. But truth be told, he doesn't share my bed because I have strong opinions about how by sharing my bed will build a trusting relationship, he shares my bed simply out of convenience. I work long days. When I get home, after dinner, we tend snuggle up to a book or video (yes, I let my child watch TV, and I'm sure there's a label for that as well) and end up falling asleep together. And the truth is, I just don't really think about it.
And that goes for a lot of these trendy parenting topics. I don't have time to think about what type of parent I am. I'm busy. I work. I want to enjoy time with my family without analyzing every decision I make as a parent and worry about whether or not I'm parenting right.
Here's the deal, my son is bathed regularly, fed, loved, socialized, and his interests are nurtured. My job as his parent is to help him navigate his way through life in a way that works for him, but to teach him how to do it in a way that works for me. So, maybe sometimes I am doing a "good job," according to various internet articles. Maybe other times I could be doing better, according to other various internet articles.
The only critics that really matter are my son and my husband. We're the ones in this particular family and we know what works best for us.
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