I'm not OK with my "normal" birth control side effects, and that's OK

What should be an acceptable standard of living when it comes to your health?  I found myself in a situation where I had to advocate for myself to my doctor because my symptoms of concern were considered normal side effects of the method of birth control I was on.  I decided that daily vaginal bleeding and cramping for multiple months was not a side effect I was willing to live with, so got the device removed.  Shortly thereafter, the cramping and bleeding increased and I was passing clots.  I called my doctor again.  I was advised we can address it at our next appointment which was more a month away.

But here's the thing:  I didn't want these symptoms to continue and wanted them addressed sooner.  Another month of bleeding, cramping, and mood swings was not an acceptable standard of living for me.  Whether or not she was concerned about my symptoms, my quality of life was affected and it would continue to be if it wasn't addressed.

I called my PCP (in tears).  They couldn't see me and recommended I go to their after-hours clinic.  The LPN I saw agreed that 3 straight months of bleeding wasn't cool and ordered a blood panel to make sure my levels were OK.  I appreciated her compassion and willingness to listen to the fact that I felt like crap and wanted my symptoms addressed.  My blood panel was great and she explained that my hormones were out of whack.  She told me to get into my gyne before my appointment.

The following Monday, I called off work and it took me 2-and-a-half hours to get an appointment.  When I'm finally seen and explain my miserable journey to the woman I saw, she looked at me and said, "you know that is normal, right?"

I told her I didn't care and I wasn't OK living with these symptoms because they're "normal."

What the hell is that?

She prescribed me another form of birth control to get my hormones in check and told me to ignore the things I see in the media and to start taking it that day.

I was prepared to follow her advice, because I tend to follow my doctor's advice because I trust them as an expert, but the pharmacy was out of the prescription.

Here's the thing: the bleeding has stopped for 3 days.  This is the longest I've gone without bleeding in three months!  I'm still experiencing mood swings, but maybe the side effects of the birth control are finally leaving my body.

Will I be OK with the side effects of this next method of birth control?

Listen, I'm a fan of modern medicine.  I vaccinate myself and my children and appreciate that the human life span has increased exponentially due to medical research.  But this over-dependence on pharmaceuticals and being "okay" with the side effects is bull shit.  If I had to choose between daily vaginal bleeding, cramping and mood swings and death, I would choose the former.  If I had to choose between daily vaginal bleeding, cramping and mood swings and a normal life where I am free from these  symptoms and have to find another way to have sex responsibly with my husband, I am going to choose the latter.

I am 35 and discovered essential oils!

I have found myself on the essential oils bandwagon. 

Let me explain...

A few years ago, I was over a friend's apartment and I was impressed by the tranquility of her living space.  She had this weird device spitting mist into the air that smelled good.  I learned it was an essential oil diffuser.  I was impressed by her homemaking skills and didn't think much of it.

Fast forward to a few years later...

My husband's beard chafes him.  He decided to make his own beard oil when some hipster sales guy tried to sell him some for $30.  That offended my husband.  He decided to make his own beard oil, using grapeseed oil, peppermint oil, and some other ingredients I don't really pay attention to.

Shortly thereafter, I see a diffuser on sale at Aldi.  There is some tea tree oil.  I buy the diffuser and tea tree oil.  I rarely use it, but use the tea tree oil and peppermint oil to fight off mosquitos and ticks over the summer.  I think it worked.  I was not attacked by mosquitos or ticks.  Win!

My 3-year-old daughter breaks the ceramic cover off of my diffuser.  My diffuser still works, it's just ugly.  I start using it more often.  I buy lavender oil and a diffuser necklace from Michaels.  The chain on my necklace breaks that day.  The lavender oil says "caution, irritant" in bold letters a few times on the label.  I do not know this at the time, but I should buy essential oils that say "caution, irritant." These are imposter essential oils.  The lavender smells good, but it's a cautionable irritant.

.My daughter also dumps my tea tree oil all over my bed frame.  I don't mind it though, because it smells good cleaning up.  I am bummed that I am out of tea tree oil.  I throw away the bottle, not knowing that I could save and reuse them for my own mixes.  I'm not on the essential oils bandwagon yet.

I don't really think about essential oils for a while.  I go about my life.  It's stressful.  My mom has cancer and it sucks.  Chemotherapy is the worst.  She wants to research diet, exercise, and other things that can improve the quality of life.  I am an expert researcher (seriously, I teach internet research).  I decide to research alternative treatments for cancer.  Not because I think peach pits or essential oils will cure my Mom's cancer.  But because I think I can find ways to make more days better and less days suck.

In my research, I fall into this rabbit hole of all of the benefits of essential oils.  Lavender and peppermint can help with feelings of calming?  Frankincense and Myrrh have anticancer properties?  I started thinking about how I can use essential oils for my Mom.  And for myself. 

I then started research different brands because I do not want cautionable irritants (I threw that bottle away). 

I ordered 5 bottles from Plant Therapy and a starter kit from Young Living.

My Plant Therapy Oils came today:  Frankincense, Myrrh, Clary Sage, Cinnamon Bark, and Lavender roll on (not a cautionable irritant). 

My daughter and I were delighted to roll the lavender oils on our wrists, neck, hair, and feet.  She knows she is not allowed to play with the bottles without me.  I also have a high shelf they will live on.

We added the Clary Sage, Frankincense, Cinnamon Bark, and Myrrh to a diffuser.   We're sitting side by side chillaxed to the max.

Meet my 5 year-plan

I turned 35 in July.  Given some sources cite the average human lifespan to be at around 71 years old (it does vary), I am middle-aged now.  I always imagined having my s&!# together in my 30s.  And by some's standards, I do.  I have a Master's Degree, a fulfilling career, and a wonderful family.  I also have 40 extra pounds and am a little above my recommended BMI.  My house is usually trashed.  My debt sucks.  I also fight with my kids all the time. So while I recognized that I am #blessed, there is always room for improvement.  That's why I created a 5 year-plan and have dedicated the month of August to kick-starting my optimal self.  When I am 40, I will have my s&!# together.  I am going to use this blog to publicly share my triumphs and challenges.