How to give yourself a pedicure while 9 months pregnant with a 3 year old in the room

Step 1:  Fill a large pitcher with warm water from the faucet.

Step 2:  Pour the warm water in your at-home pedicure spa/foot bath and turn it on

Step 3:  Sit down and put  your feet in.  Enjoy this only for a moment.

Step 4:  Your 3 year old notices what you're doing.  Stop enjoying the moment.

Step 5:  Watch your three-year-old pull his nasty upholstered Thomas chair you purposefully keep hidden in the closet because it's so grossly stained but you can't throw it away because he love it.  Watch him drag the chair to where you're giving your foot bath.

Step 6:  Momentarily share your foot bath with your 3-year-old.

Step 7: Take a picture because it's funny.  Don't post the picture because your feet and ankles look puffy and gross.

Step 8.  Eventually given in and give your three-year-old the entire foot bath.

Step 9: Take another picture because it's funny.  Don't post it because 1) the chair is so nasty and 2) he's in his underpants.

Step 10: Get the foot bath back from three-year-old, but the water is cold.  Turn it off.  Listen to him complain that he wasn't done.

Step 11:  Rub coconut oil on your swollen dry feet.

Step 12:  Cringe as the dog appears out of nowhere to lick the coconut oil off your feet.

Step 13:  Pull your mani-pedi bin from your closet.

Step 14:  Watch your three-year-old grab a handful of cotton balls and run out of the room.  Decide to ignore it.

Step 15:  Look for the nail file.  Give up after a few minutes and settle for toenail clippers.

Step 16:  Come to two realizations:  1) how am I going to reach my toenails and 2) this will be a really funny blog post.

Step 17:  Start blogging to avoid the issue of reaching your feet.

Step 18:  Decide to try to reach your toenails because there's nothing more to blog about.

...

Step 19:  Clip your toenails slightly shorter than you wanted but feel proud of the feat.

Step 20:  Maneuver over your watermelon-sized baby bump and semi-successfully paint 9 out of 10 toenails rather quickly while your cat decides it's time to snuggle.

Step 21: Stop to take a breath and find a way to get that 10th toenail.  Decide that the only way you can feasibly reach it is by using your non-dominant hand.  Success.

Step 22:  Admire your work.  Note that you definitely got a lot of polish on your actual toes, but feel successful anyway,

Step 23:  Allow toes to dry.  Decide on whether to let your three-year-old paint a coat of glitter polish over your toenails.  You probably will.